I was ready for school, carrying my bag like
a small girl with not much joyness.
My bag felt like it hates me a lot and make it heavy.
Felt like someone pulled my bag,
I hope there will have no sound and
Let me spend the time with my computer,
I didn't want to look and the time but,
I had to.
There was no way of not looking.
Then,
There goes the *hon-hon* sound,
I'll be running to it, the sound.
I goes in, along the way,
I felt unpleasant being in the car,
I hoping to stay in the car,
I didn't even feel like stepping to the school compound,
Then, my miseries started, it reached my school,
I slighty open the door,
Without anybodies knowledge,
I actually step down and know it will soon past.
I was walking unhappily into the school compound,
with a 5 minutes walk,
I then reached the cafeteria where everybody would
be there as in our *gathering place*
I saw her, I ignore and when where I wanted to put my bag
Unhappily, I will start talking to my friends and
one by one, my friends will start coming since
I'm always one of the early people who reach first,
Then we will always go and buy ice cream.
Depending on who paying,
Without knowing, I was actually laughing out loud
with my friends, happily.
Yet, maybe nobody knows most of the smiles was fake.
Maybe I was forcing myself all these while,
I always look moody, even my friends realized it.
I don't know why, I don't feel like I own anybody,
Then my JIE will come and chat with me,
Even like that, I don't really feel comfortable,
I don't want people to treat me as a ghost,
Take me and leave me when they are fed up,
I don't want these life.
There goes my unhappy face when the bell rings
We waited *patiently* for it to go,
Slowly, we said bye and go to our own class,
I always be hardworking and looked like
I actually paid attention just to hope that
I would not get any scolding from my teacher,
Then, I kept looking at the time and hoping it was recess,
I didn't want to be locked up in the class anymore,
and I could always see her face,
Ring! There goes the bell, my smile was not there
Just felt like nothing is special but
just not being in the class to actually study,
Recess, we rush to buy our food and after that
We start talking and LOL-ing.
Sometimes, I don't really feel happy cause
I've never had the happiest laughter in this school
I really, absolutely didn't even had one.
It were all just normal laughters.
There goes the bell again,
Time to study again, and when it rings again,
It will be time for me to go home,
I will start dunking my books into my bag and
sometimes, it really gets very messy,
I will be rushing or maybe walking fast with my friend
to reach the bridge to go over and I know that
the day has past, I can finally go home.
Sitting in the car, I'll think about the past,
the things that happened, I don't know why I feel
so uneasy with life, I only realize until now,
then I life is not blessed with happiness,
Not anymore now.
I realize why my face is always all so moody,
Now, life wouldn't be what I want anymore,
Nothing, it was all just a lie,
Nothing was exactly real,
I reached home and felt so relax,
being at the place which I was supposed to be all along,
Eventhough it was few hours until going back to school the next day,
I felt like it was just a few minutes,
Life don't seem what I wanted it to be,
Now I've realize,
I don't think anymore, anything that I'm happy
Happy living in this kind of life,
Nowadays, I feel so down.
Without a BFF and my TS is not in the same school,
I wonder if I were in that school,
I would really feel blessed with my life,
Boys may not be the main thing in my life
but friends, especially friendship, they are.
I wanted somebody to share my life, secrets, stuffs etc. with me
Sometimes I wonder whether there was anybody,
in this world who was willing to.
Life is not the same anymore.
I really feel life is nothing.
I suddenly feel so emo, and i admit, I'm emo now.
I'm very indeed. =| Life sucks.
Bugger. I'm hating myself for all these.
Can I share my life with you TS? Friends?
I don't know, I hope JIE is still there. =(
I'm really getting very very emotional as the feeling of
nobody really treats me as a True Friend.
-cheryl.C
emo-ing
a small girl with not much joyness.
My bag felt like it hates me a lot and make it heavy.
Felt like someone pulled my bag,
I hope there will have no sound and
Let me spend the time with my computer,
I didn't want to look and the time but,
I had to.
There was no way of not looking.
Then,
There goes the *hon-hon* sound,
I'll be running to it, the sound.
I goes in, along the way,
I felt unpleasant being in the car,
I hoping to stay in the car,
I didn't even feel like stepping to the school compound,
Then, my miseries started, it reached my school,
I slighty open the door,
Without anybodies knowledge,
I actually step down and know it will soon past.
I was walking unhappily into the school compound,
with a 5 minutes walk,
I then reached the cafeteria where everybody would
be there as in our *gathering place*
I saw her, I ignore and when where I wanted to put my bag
Unhappily, I will start talking to my friends and
one by one, my friends will start coming since
I'm always one of the early people who reach first,
Then we will always go and buy ice cream.
Depending on who paying,
Without knowing, I was actually laughing out loud
with my friends, happily.
Yet, maybe nobody knows most of the smiles was fake.
Maybe I was forcing myself all these while,
I always look moody, even my friends realized it.
I don't know why, I don't feel like I own anybody,
Then my JIE will come and chat with me,
Even like that, I don't really feel comfortable,
I don't want people to treat me as a ghost,
Take me and leave me when they are fed up,
I don't want these life.
There goes my unhappy face when the bell rings
We waited *patiently* for it to go,
Slowly, we said bye and go to our own class,
I always be hardworking and looked like
I actually paid attention just to hope that
I would not get any scolding from my teacher,
Then, I kept looking at the time and hoping it was recess,
I didn't want to be locked up in the class anymore,
and I could always see her face,
Ring! There goes the bell, my smile was not there
Just felt like nothing is special but
just not being in the class to actually study,
Recess, we rush to buy our food and after that
We start talking and LOL-ing.
Sometimes, I don't really feel happy cause
I've never had the happiest laughter in this school
I really, absolutely didn't even had one.
It were all just normal laughters.
There goes the bell again,
Time to study again, and when it rings again,
It will be time for me to go home,
I will start dunking my books into my bag and
sometimes, it really gets very messy,
I will be rushing or maybe walking fast with my friend
to reach the bridge to go over and I know that
the day has past, I can finally go home.
Sitting in the car, I'll think about the past,
the things that happened, I don't know why I feel
so uneasy with life, I only realize until now,
then I life is not blessed with happiness,
Not anymore now.
I realize why my face is always all so moody,
Now, life wouldn't be what I want anymore,
Nothing, it was all just a lie,
Nothing was exactly real,
I reached home and felt so relax,
being at the place which I was supposed to be all along,
Eventhough it was few hours until going back to school the next day,
I felt like it was just a few minutes,
Life don't seem what I wanted it to be,
Now I've realize,
I don't think anymore, anything that I'm happy
Happy living in this kind of life,
Nowadays, I feel so down.
Without a BFF and my TS is not in the same school,
I wonder if I were in that school,
I would really feel blessed with my life,
Boys may not be the main thing in my life
but friends, especially friendship, they are.
I wanted somebody to share my life, secrets, stuffs etc. with me
Sometimes I wonder whether there was anybody,
in this world who was willing to.
Life is not the same anymore.
I really feel life is nothing.
I suddenly feel so emo, and i admit, I'm emo now.
I'm very indeed. =| Life sucks.
Bugger. I'm hating myself for all these.
Can I share my life with you TS? Friends?
I don't know, I hope JIE is still there. =(
I'm really getting very very emotional as the feeling of
nobody really treats me as a True Friend.
-cheryl.C
emo-ing
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